I’ve long forgotten when and where I first heard my favourite gag though Mick Jones gave the best rendition I ever heard on stage at Night and Day Cafe. He may well have been referencing the show I’d booked for him. Anyhow, it goes a something like this…

A man visits his doctor in some distress, and on entering the consultation room says, “Doctor, you have to help me. I’m in total and utter agony”.  The doctor replies “please take a seat, tell me, what seems to be the problem sir?”

The man rolls up his sleeve to reveal his forearm. It’s a wrinkled mass of festering sores from his fingertips up the forearm and there’s a discernible point where the arm becomes completely normal right after the elbow.

The doctor, visibly repulsed by the nasty arm says, “That really does look incredibly painful, but before I can make any kind of diagnosis I’ll need to look into your background and habits. Can I ask, what do you do for a living?”

The man for a moment forgets about his grotesque arm and proudly replies, “Well, I work at the circus!”

The doctor asks what his role at the circus is to which the man answers, “it’s my job to give the elephants their daily vitamin suppositories.”

“Well, plainly” the doctor says “you are experiencing a frightful and virulent reaction to the insides of these animals. My sole recommendation is that you seriously consider a complete change of career”.

To which the man replies…

“What and give up show business?”